Updates and New Directions

When last we left our fearless hero it was almost time to start preschool!

What a wild few months it's been...

Preschool was good, until it wasn't. I expected a transition period, but after Dad's mid-winter break something changed. Every day was crying, refusing to go with teachers/aides, and biting. During the first week of March, Wombat bit another student who had a puzzle he wanted. As the recipient of many bites over the last few months, I know how much those bites hurt. My heart broke for that child and for my child. After that incident, we switched him from center-based preschool to itinerant status. That basically means everyone comes to him...sort of. Since we live so close to the school, I take him over there for PT, OT, and speech once a week and then his teacher comes for a half hour on another day. I'm annoyed at the whole situation honestly. For him to go from two and half hours of school a day, four days a week (10 hours a week of school) to thirty minutes per therapy a week is frustrating. 

Around the same time we were seeing the behavior escalate at school, we decided to bite the bullet and get him an appointment at a well-known, highly respected autism center for a thorough evaluation. We had a quick, no eval diagnosis from when we were fighting our insurance for more speech therapy, but I didn't feel it was very helpful. A few weeks after we switched him out of center-based preschool we did two days of autism testing. It was amazing to be at a place that specialized in special needs children. Everyone we met knew how to interact with Wombat. They just got it. For the first time, in a long time, I didn't feel like an outsider. The best part? Everyone from kids to doctors to aides to teachers was smiling. SMILING! Coming from a preschool environment where I felt they didn't like my child, this was wonderful and very refreshing.

The first day was ok. It was mainly us sitting in a room talking to a pediatric neurologist and a pediatric behavioral psychologist. Wombat played, we talked. The worst part was the cheek swab for genetic testing. That was awful.

A week later and a week before the second day of testing, we got a report from the pediatric neurologist. It was your standard medical report. Lots of big words that I had to Google. I learned his head was almost too big (it's always been big) and then I read the "impressions" section. First sentence: "Likely ASD" and my heart dropped. As a mom and as a teacher, I'd suspected ASD for a while. I knew something was different about Wombat. He just wasn't like other kids we knew around his age. But to have it there, written in black and white... it was shocking, yet not shocking at all. If anything, it snapped me out of whatever denial I might have been in and got me working on potential solutions.

The second day of testing was a nightmare:the social emotional testing and the speech eval. The social-emotional was ok, but not great. He only tried to bite the tester once. Speech was a different story. We returned to the waiting room for a few minutes until the speech therapist was ready for us. This is where things went off the rails. Wombat expected to be done. We weren't done. So when it came time to go to the speech therapists office, he went boneless and Daddy had to carry him. Never good. When we entered her office, he immediately focused on a toy. He's very good at ignoring someone when he wants to and he wanted to ignore the speech therapist. She tried taking the toy, getting him to identify something, and then giving him back the toy. No, no, no, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. To Wombat, she was just antagonizing him, teasing him with the toy he wanted. Finally, I took the toy from him, gave it to my husband, and whispered, "Make it disappear." He did, thankfully, but the die was cast. Wombat hated this lady and spent the remainder of the assessment trying to bite her, begging me to leave, or clinging to me and sobbing. We all left very defeated and very upset.

April 8th, we got the "official" diagnosis. Moderate to severe autism. I expected the autism diagnosis, but the severity was another shock. I'm ashamed to admit I cried when the behavioral psychologist told us. I cried as all my dreams for my sweet little boy died right there in that room and were replaced by a pleura of new fears. Would he ever speak? How can we afford all the therapies he's going to need? Will people be mean to him? How can I keep him safe? Would he ever live on his own? He has a college fund, will he ever get to use it? Who will take care of him when my husband and I are gone? Does he understand how much we love him? So. Many. Fears. 

I spent most of that weekend bursting into tears. Randomly, not so randomly. Then, something wonderful happened. As my husband shared the diagnosis with coworkers, we started getting emails, phone calls, Facebook messages...."I know this person, her son has autism, she might be a good resource for you." "Our son has autism, I'm here if you need to talk." "The local Autism support group is having a meeting, I'll watch Wombat so you and your husband can go."

We received (and are still receiving) a huge outpouring of support. Very rarely do we share the diagnosis with someone that they don't reply with, "Oh, my ____ has autism." Finally, we were surrounded by people who loved Wombat, loved us, and wanted to help. It was nice not to feel so alone.

Now, we're learning as we go. There's a very steep learning curve because I want to get Wombat as much help as possible as quickly as possible. I've stopped crying and being sad. He's still my son. He's still perfect, just the way he is. He's just a little different. Different, not less.

I'd read the following poem before, but now it resonates so much more.

The Big 0-3

Happy Birthday, Wombat!

Today you are 3! How is that possible!?

You have had an eventful year. It started with a cold, snowy winter. We pretty much stayed inside for January and February. I'm a little nervous about this winter because you're accustomed to going outside several times a day.

In May, you went through a big Cars and Cars 2 obsession. We watched "race car" at least once a day, every day for three months. Three months, child! Luckily, you seemed to get over your obsession around the time we went to the beach. You're back to your first love, Mickey Mouse. When we try to watch something that isn't Mickey, you politely ask "how 'bout Mickey!?" If we don't comply, you turn off the television. You're quite the dictator.

You have made some new friends this year, too. When Grandpa was sick, you stayed with Aunt Christy and Ry. You got very good at handling strong women. Recently, you've befriended another little girl whose mom works with Daddy. At least once a day, you ask me, "how 'bout So-feeee-a?" I think it's safe to say you have a little crush. You're going to be starting preschool soon and we're hoping you'll make even more friends there.

This year, we went to soccer practice to see Daddy more often. You love the big boys. Every time we went, you would take off across the field to see Daddy. Once you've greeted Daddy, you race off to see the big kids. You give out high fives to all the boys and run around like a maniac. When they stretch, you stretch. You want to be right where the boys are. At the end of practice, you are not content to watch the huddle. Oh no, you must be in the middle of the huddle right next to Daddy. 

You have become a puzzle machine. You started out putting together chunky wooden puzzles which you loved. Then, all of a sudden, you started doing jigsaw puzzles. Imagine my surprise the day you put together a 36 piece jigsaw puzzle, by yourself! Frequently, you get up in the morning and put together all your puzzles, and then go about your day. We're on the lookout for more puzzles and definitely more challenging puzzles!

We have also spent a significant amount of time this year getting you speech therapy. We started the process by referring you to Help Me Grow last December. They came out and tested you and they confirmed what I already knew. Your expressive language was delayed. They also said your receptive language was delayed. However, I don't agree with that. You understand what we say to you just fine (sometimes more than just fine).

So in March, Miss Michele started coming to play with you once a week. You loved Miss Michele instantly. Together we worked on getting you to talk more. In May, our insurance wouldn't let us have any more speech therapy so we had to start going through the state to get your speech. We finally got it straightened around and got you off they state approved provider waiting list in September. Miss Renee, your new speech therapist, came once a week until your third birthday. You didn't like Miss Renee as much as Miss Michele but she eventually grew on you. Both therapists were wonderful resources for Mama and their help was invaluable. Your expressive language development since we started speech therapy is nothing short of amazing. I'm sure someday I am going to wish you would stop talking, but right now, I love listening to you. 

Next week, you start preschool. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not heartbroken over the idea of you going to school. I feel like I missed 18 months of your days while I was working and I'm not ready to share you yet. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be ready to share you though. I just keep reminding myself that preschool is what you need and that is what is most important. Luckily, your school is right across the street so I will be able to walk over to the school to drop you off and pick you up. Daddy will even get to pick you up on Mondays since your school is done during his planning period that day.

Our Beach Trip

We just returned from our annual trip to the beach! We missed last year's trip because Daddy had to work summer school. 

To day Mama has been looking forward to this trip would be an understatement.

We visited the city you were born in and saw old friends...

You loved running on the beach. One day, you even fell in line with a trio of joggers running down the beach. Luckily, Daddy caught up to you.

At the advice of Daddy's friend, Miss Allyson, we got you a Puddle Jumper for swimming. You are not a big fan of swimming yet. We're working on it.

You love the beach though. We went every single day we were there.

You had a ball chasing the seagulls...

You became our official elevator operator.

You entertained the patrons of Broadway at the Beach when you played in the fountain...

We blew lots of bubbles on the patio...

And took a pontoon boat cruise.

Two of my favorite pictures from the week...

6 Month Update

It's time for a 6 month update!

 

You are now 2.5....that's way closer to 3 than I'd like. You're growing so fast! Please stop! 

Here are something I hope we never forget about your two and a half year old self...

Speech therapy has been amazing for you. I can't get over your language development in the past month. You've learned to say "I love you" which, I'll admit, made Mama cry. Just a little. Ms. Michele, your SLP, is wonderful. She has a son about 6 months younger than you and we compare notes often. She's given us so many good ideas and your language is booming. Right now, we're waiting on the insurance to approve more sessions. Fingers crossed they approve more, you've made so much progress!

You have become a pint sized back seat driver. Whether we're in the stroller or driving in the car, you can often be heard exclaiming, "How 'bout that way!?" Heaven help us if we don't/can't go "that way." You're also noticing things outside the car more. You love looking at tractors, school buses, and trains as we're driving. You help the stop lights change by saying magic words with Mama to see if that will change the light to green. I may have also taught you to say, "Red light, red light, stop, stop, stop!" and "Green light, green light, go, go, go!" 

You continue to love letters and numbers. You know all your upper and lower case letters (b and d are sometimes confusing) and recognize numbers up to 20. Numbers seem to be your main interest right now and recently your new favorite number is 100. You love to count by tens to 100. I'm currently working on counting by 5s to 100. You are getting pretty good!

Recently, you've discovered how much fun outside can be. You want to be outside all day, every day. You love walking out to the soccer fields and inspecting all the nature you find along the way. One day there were puddles. That was also the day we ran out of clean/dry shoes! You LOVE splashing in mud puddles!

It is hilarious to watch you blow bubbles. I guess I should really call it eating bubbles. However, you love chasing bubbles with your butterfly net. It's hilarious to watch you take off after a bubble.

One of your favorite things to do is go over and eat lunch with Daddy and "the boys." You love running up and down the hallway outside the dining hall. Then you go in and find your seat. We continue to practice saying hello to all of the boys. You give out high fives like they're going out of style. You are having a hard time when Daddy leaves lately, but I'm hoping that will get better once he's home for the summer.

We are also binkie free! Honestly, for something I dreaded for a year, it went really easily. I just hid all your binkies and gave you a teething ring at night. You had been chewing on/through your binkies for months so the extra firm teething ring helped you settle. Now, you can take the teether or leave it.

Last week, you figured out how to climb out of your crib. Yay. So we converted your bed to the toddler bed. We're still teaching you that you have to stay in bed at night, but the mornings make my day. You tiptoe into our room and exclaim, "Hi Mama! I'm here!" Then you climb into bed with me to snuggle. Best. Part. Of. My. Day.

Getting to watch you learn and grow is the highlight of my day, Little Wombat. 

We love you to the moon and back!

Love, 

Mama

Zoo Trip!

I'm so excited to have a good zoo within driving distance again. So I used some money I got for Christmas to get us a family zoo membership. I'm looking forward to loading you up and heading to the zoo frequently throughout the year. 

We went with Granny and Gramdad last week and had a wonderful time. We gave you more freedom than the last time we went to the zoo. You were allowed to get out of the stroller and look around as long as you didn't run off. You could also ride in the stroller when you were tired.

You loved looking at the elephants and zooming through the ape building. Your favorite part of the visit was the playground. It's been several months since it's been warm/dry enough to play at a playground so you had a ball sliding down the slides and climbing like our very own monkey. After the monkey building, we walked down the biiiiiig hill, saw the koalas, and got some lunch. Note to self, on future zoo visits, pack a lunch. The food at the zoo isn't fit for animals. 

After lunch we rode the carousel. You're still a little leery of the carousel, but you enjoy it as long as you can keep a tight grip on me at all times. Instead of heading to the North American portion of the zoo, we went to the Rainforest. It was clear to tell you were getting tired. After leading me through the foliage to the tree climb, you were content to be held or carried the rest of the way through the building. Very out of character for you.

In our way out, I grabbed a drink for me and an apple for you. You ate your apple as we left and finished it shortly after we buckled you into the car. Within minutes,of getting on the road to go home, you had already fallen asleep in your car seat.

I vote zoo trip every day!

Speech Therapy

It has been a crazy month and a half. Since Grandpa died we have been traveling back and forth to Grandma's house every week or so to help her with various tasks. We'll talk about the insanity that is bedtime at Grandma's another day.

Around the middle of February we finally started speech therapy. Your speech therapist is awesome. She has a little boy about your age so she really "gets" you. I was worried the first time she came because you generally ignore strangers. You'll come look at them, but you don't speak to them or interact with them.

Imagine my surprise when, not only did you speak to your SLP, you showed her your toys, played with her, said "bye," and hugged her! You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Based on what our insurance approved, she comes twice a week for half an hour. Daddy and I definitely see progress which is exciting! We're coming to the end of the sessions the insurance has approved but we're working to get you more sessions so you can continue to improve.

My favorite new word is "Stop!" When you are playing and you aren't ready to transition into something else (or get your diaper changed) you hold up your hand and say, "Stop!" If Daddy and I don't listen you sometimes will come over to us and push us back while saying, "Stop!" 

Unless you're in danger, we stop when you ask us. We do that for two reasons. First, we want you to learn that your words have power and when you use them your thoughts or wishes can be communicated to others. Secondly, we want you to learn that when you tell an adult to stop, they will respect your wishes. I equate it to respecting your boundaries. If you don't want me to do something (right now, my singing is particularly offensive to you) it is your right to tell me to stop. I hope in the future this will help you learn that no means no and to respect other people and their boundaries.

Tonight, you read Brown Bear, Brown Bear with me. I would start and then you would push back the window and say "I see a _______." You will also shout hooray and clap when we sing "If you're happy and you know it."

We're seeing progress, buddy, which is very exciting!

Sad

Oh, buddy. We are all so sad today. Your Grandpa, or Pa as you call him, passed away tonight. We will  miss him so much. It makes me sad that you won't remember him, but Daddy and I are going to tell you all about him as you grow.

You and Pa were buddies right from the start. Pa used to cough frequently. Before you could talk, whenever you saw Pa, you would start fake coughing and then grin. You still did it every time you saw him. You loved to help us push his wheelchair and sit with him at the computer. 

Your Pa was a great man. Now, you have another guardian angel watching over you.

A Mother's Worry

So. Full disclosure, buddy. Two weeks ago, we had you tested by the state's early intervention program. You see, I've been concerned about your speech or your lack of speech, for several months. In my opinion, you don't talk as much as other children around your age. You will repeat just about anything I ask you to (if you want to) but you don't spontaneously say things. You rarely talk to strangers at all, but you'll talk to Daddy or I. Daddy and I finally decided to contact the program for an evaluation. As we see it, we're either catching a problem early or proving I have been worrying over nothing.

We met with your case manager, signed some paperwork, and a nice girl came out to the house to test you. It was a long test for you and I know it was difficult. When she'd ask you to do things, you would say, "No, no, no!" You very, very rarely tell Daddy or I know so I found that encouraging. As a teacher, I have some issues with how she administered the test but at the end of the day she told me that your expressive AND receptive language were both below level. She didn't say how much below level...we'll find that out when your case manager comes back.

She also said she always recommends an evaluation with a pediatric neurologist in order to rule out any neurological problems.

That's where we stand right now. We've been patiently, impatiently waiting for our follow up meeting with your case manager to find out how and where we proceed.

 We love you, buddy. We love you so very much.

expERIEnce Museum

Last week, while Granny and Grandad were here, we went to the children's museum in Erie. I had never been there, but had checked out the reviews online. We had planned earlier in the year to take you to the children's museum in Cleveland, but then I read some horrible reviews and we decided not to go. The museum in Erie did not disappoint! It was one of the better children's museums we've visited.

It was a little complicated getting there (thank goodness for GPS), but with Grandad driving we made it there without a problem. There are three levels to the museum. The entrance level has a huge water table, lunch area, cave/slide, and a water chalkboard. 

Oh, did I mention the giant blocks, too?

Daddy had fun hammering nails, too!

They had a pedal fire truck that you loved. Your feet couldn't quite reach the pedals, but that didn't stop your fun.

This alligator bank looked a lot like our dinosaur bank, Dino. You love Dino. We use Dino to collect change for your college fund. Anytime you find a coin lying around the house (no matter how hard I try to keep them picked up), you come to me, grab my hand, and take me to Dino to deposit your coin. As soon as you saw the alligator, you immediately came to me for a coin. Luckily, I had one.

The water table was a huge hit. You loved playing in the water.

And fishing in the water....

Daddy had fun playing in the water, too!

So did Grandad!

On the lower level they had puzzles, a Smart Table (pardon Mommy while she drools), a toddler area, blocks, and an art area. Three guess where you spent most of your time...

You, of course, took the opportunity to build a tower. We build towers constantly these days.

The top floor of the museum had an imaginative play area, stage, and TRAIN TABLES! We spent quite a while at the train table. I've tried convincing Daddy that you need your own train table, but he just muttered about having to build another house to corral all the toys you "need."

The imaginative play area had a house play set (that you played in for about a minute), a delicatessen, a court room, a post office, and a grocery store. You grabbed a shopping cart in the grocery store and promptly filled your cart with formula and diapers. Only the essentials, right buddy?

You also enjoyed running around the stage. I tried to put a cape on you, but you were unimpressed.

25 Months Old

Dear Wombat,

I haven't quite decided how to continue on with your monthly updates or even if I'm going to continue. For now, a letter seems to be my best choice.

Your 25th month was exciting! We celebrated Thanksgiving with friends. You enjoyed eating dinner in the garage or, as Uncle Robert dubbed it, "Metal Gymboree!"

Right before Thanksgiving we took you to story time at the library. Epic. Fail. You are not a sit and listen to a story then do a craft kind of kid. We stuck it out as long as we could, but eventually we gave up and left in a firestorm of tears. Luckily, our neighbor invited you to her classroom so her ESL students can read to you. It's short, it's sweet, and you love it! It's perfect.

This month, you decorated your first Christmas tree. It wasn't huge or spectacular, but it was ours. The Christmas tree and the lights were a big hit. You especially enjoyed the apple ornaments. In fact, we had to keep an eye on you so that you wouldn't take the apple ornaments off the tree because once, you tried to eat one!

You also got to play host for a couple of Daddy's players. We made breakfast for them before going to a college combine. You chattered along while they ate and seemed to love having company for breakfast.

I went to a girls event and made a gingerbread house. I had fun, but I missed you. The look on your face when I walked through the door holding the gingerbread house was priceless. You loved it and couldn't wait to eat it. I gave you the little gingerbread man and you were hooked. Eventually, I had to hide it in the oven because if it was out, you wanted to eat it. It took you exactly 15 minutes to find it. Then I had to find a new, better hiding place. Hiding Christmas gifts is going to be a challenge with you!

You also experienced your first Santa sighting! We went to dinner with Daddy one evening and Santa showed up! He even had a present for you. You weren't sure what to think of him, but you loved being the center of attention. You even remembered your manners and signed/said, "thank you." Way to make your Mama proud.

We also went to the Christmas party at Daddy's work. You had a lovely time "playing" pool (sitting on the pool table rolling balls). You looked mighty handsome, too.

This also happened:

One of my cousins sent you this outfit and I finally decided to put you in it. Oh. My. Gravy. The cuteness was almost too much. You kept checking yourself out in the mirror and giggling. It was so adorable.

Daddy and I are pretty sure your sleep sack days are numbered...especially when I found you like this one morning:

In short buddy, you keep us hopping and life is never dull. We love you so much.

Love,

Mama

2 Years Old!

Age: 24 Months or ... 2 YEARS OLD!  Happy Birthday, Baby!

Height: 37.5 inches

Weight: 30 pounds

Favorite Activity: You have figured out how to climb into your kitchen helper. You love climbing up and playing or helping me cook. Sometimes, Oliver will sit in your kitchen helper and then you MUST go pet him.

One day, you even discovered the batch of birthday cookies I had made. You now know to check the stove for cookies. You are my child.

Honorable Mentions:  Can we talk about bubble/parachute time at Gymboree? As soon as you see your teacher get the bubble blower you haul diaper and sit down on the parachute. Your one job is to pop those bubble. "Pop, pop, pop. Keep poppin' those bubbles." I am never going to get those songs out of my head.

You also love bath time. One evening, I had to drain the tub (and refill it) shortly after you got in. You would have thought I had stolen your favorite toy. Oh the wailing. As soon as I plugged the tub and started filling it up again, you were fine. We continue to work on listening to mama explain what is happening before you freak out. Not after.

Least Favorite Activity: You loathe me messing with your nose in any way, shape, or form. It made your 3 week cold very difficult.

Milestones: First trip to Kraynak's Christmasland! Grandma and Grandpa used to take your uncle and I every year. We haven't been able to take you since we lived in North Carolina. However, this year... You are still pretty young, but I think you had fun looking at the trees and people. You also enjoyed our trip to the chocolate store.

New Activity: I've let you into our bedroom a few times this month (previously forbidden) and you love it. You took about 5 minutes to figure out how to climb onto our bed. Now, you love to climb on our bed and exclaim, "How 'bout meeeeee?" 

It also snows this month! While it wasn't your first snow experience, it was definitely the most snow you've ever seen. We still haven't made it to the shoe store to get you real winter boots, but we let you go out for about 10 minutes to play. Last year, you refused to move. This year, you froze initially, but once you figured it out, you were off and running (in snow up to your knees)

Communication: You have a pretty extensive vocabulary (airplane, truck, please, thank you, etc.), but you're not putting them together into sentences much. Hopefully that will start soon so you can communicate even better.

Sleep: You continue to be a sleep enigma. One day, you refuse to nap and barely make it to bedtime. The next day, you're still so tired you fall asleep immediately at nap time and then refuse to go to bed until 10. Consistency, child! Mama needs consistency.

Best Moment: Last week, while I was washing dishes, you brought me one of my ladybug slippers. Those slippers were a gift from your daddy when I was in the hospital after you were born. I mentioned my feet were cold and he showed up with slippers! Anyway, you brought each slipper to me and demanded I put them on my feet. When I did, you looked very pleased and ran off to play. I figured this was my shot to get you to wear your Lightning McQueen slippers so we went into the living room and I put them on your feet. You high stepped across the floor to your alphabet carpet and promptly pulled them off. Sigh. Someday you'll wear them!

Worst Moment: One evening during your bath, I needed to drain the tub and refill it. Well, evidently you weren't ready because you panicked and started to cry. I tried to explain that I was going to refill the tub, but until I turned the water back on you were inconsolable. I'm sorry I made you sad, bud.

Eating: As I said before, you learned all about cookies this month. I've kept their existence a secret from you for almost 2 years. Welcome to Mama's nemesis, buddy.

Favorite Foods: Cookies! In fact, it took you less than 10 minutes to learn the word cookie. Now when you see a cookie, you screech, "Keeeeeeeeeey!" 

Teeth: I see a bottom left 2 year molar! C'mon molars!

Oh, and this!  You met your cousin C this month. She's a year younger than you, but cute as can be. She lives far, far away in Missouri but it was so much fun to get to see her. You were unimpressed by her, in general. You shared some of your toys (trucks are hard to share) and were a pretty good host. It is probably good she doesn't live closer or you two could cause a lot of trouble together.